Chinese (Traditional)FrenchGermanItalianJapanesePortugueseRussianSpanishSerbian

SEVERED CINEMA TEE
Severed Cinema Official T-Shirt Now on Sale!


Severed Cinema

RANDOM SICKNESS

 
Severed Cinema review of Torment - Enchanted Architect - Unearthed Films
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

INTERVIEWS
Old School Italian: A Severed Cinema Interview with Actor Franco Garofalo

Bringing Back Erotic Horror: A Severed Cinema Interview with Filmmaker Domiziano Cristopharo

Bending Morality: The World of Marian Dora - A Severed Cinema Interview

BOOKS
Book Review: A Whole Bag of Crazy: Sordid Tales of Hookers, Weed, and Grindhouse Movies - Happy Cloud Media

Book Review: Texas Shlock by Bret McCormick

MUSIC
Music Review: Coven - Witchcraft Destroys Minds and Reaps Souls - Akarma

Music Review: Comus - First Utterance - Rock Fever Music

Music Review: No Please Not in my Mouth - Poison Rouge - White Gardenia
 





Gore-met, Zombie Chef from Hell - Camp Video Print E-mail
User Rating: / 3
PoorBest 
Written by Jay Creepy   
Saturday, 05 August 2017
Severed Cinema review of Gore-met, Zombie Chef from Hell from Camp Video

AKA: Goremet, Zombie Chef from Hell

Directed by: Don Swan
Written by: Don Swan, Jeff Baughn, William Highsmith
Produced by: Don Swan, William Highsmith, Jon Lamphere
Cinematography by: Don Swan
Editing by: Phil Erhardt
Music by: Steve Cunningham, Don Swan, Dan Smith
Special Effects by: Warren Graham, Theo Depuay
Cast: Theo Depuay, Kelley Kunicki, Michael O’Neill, Billy Scott, Alan Marx, Rocky Oliviero.
Year: 1986
Language: English
Country: USA
Runtime: 1h 7min

Studio: Swanfilms
Distributor: Camp Video

I suppose I find it hard to knock a film which existed simply to be a cheap nasty on the mid ‘80s video market. A sneaky rental using an older buddy for scores of underage teens to watch goggle-eyed, as scenes of mass bloodletting filled their orbs. Scenes which are rather far away from each other and padded out by long, very overlong scenes of, well, people not doing much at all.

Many recoil at the terrible acting, dreadful directing, ridiculous script, dragging out of time, and so on. Me? I ask those people a question: if you’re a critic and you sit with a micro budget SOV mid ‘80s jolly which holds a title like Gore-Met, Zombie Chef from Hell, what do you expect? Evil Dead? You watch these things for nasty as hell bloody murders, not classically trained thespians dancing to the words of Martin Scorsese.

So, on with the horror show. The opening ominous music is like an ‘80s mix of Elm Street and The Undertaker’s theme. Awesome. Any flick which begins with the execution or whatever, of a captive 600 years earlier for high treason by some council order out in a field with dodgy props in their hands, cannot be all bad can it?

I am Goza. I have lived in splendour… and in poverty. You’ve passed by me, for over six hundred years! I have been cursed to live forever by the Brotherhood...” thus goes on a gentleman who faces us. He apparently lives for one thing only -- human flesh. He loves it. He isn’t cursed, he is the curse on our stinking world. The actor is truly in the zone for his breaking the fourth wall speech.

Incidentally as we open the film proper, to a Run DMC style beat and a keyboard, we see Goza has his own club and bar. This is the realm of loud flowery shirts. He’s having to check over his books via a smug white shirt and tie health department man who threatens to close him down. Next thing you know, there’s a muffled cry and blood splashes the wall. The camera zooms and pans away on a machete through the face shot. Cool, but the actor is obviously holding the fake machete still in his clamped mouth. In typical gory horror fashion, when a punter asks to order the stew, Goza is seen mincing body parts.

Next comes a very overlong scene of two lovers in a park. They head over to Goza’s place where a fella warns them the devil himself runs it. “I make deliveries here.” says the lad. What comes next is hard to describe but, there’s a moment, around 10 seconds, of people dancing unconvincingly to a fluffy pop country music tune, in loud shirts. Why? I dunno, to be honest. “Can I get you something, my dear?” Goza asks Stella, who notices vile flaking skin on his arms. “My skin condition will be clear soon enough.” he says with sinister tones. Meanwhile, the bloke outside keeps warning people. Stella disappears. Her fella tucks into a burger, only to find her engagement ring in the meat. “You assholes! Holy shit! What’s going on here??!!” Goza and his huge bearded buddy, Blozor, deal with complaints. He’s thrown out of the bar.

More random choice scenes of punters enjoying the music, and then a fucking dire musical number in which a lifeguard sings the blues, as a saxophone plays whilst some dickhead plays guitar and a kazoo. Really? “Come on people, there’s no doubt, we’re all gonna party ‘til we all pass out… I’m your life guard baby, I sit on my throne, listening to Rocky blowing his saxophone…!” Yes, it is real, unfortunately. Our hero convinces a waitress at the bar to help him look for Stella. They both discover some truly nasty meat in the cellar. “I’m not gonna let those monsters get away with this!” he screams in rage. However, the waitress stabs him instead. She looks shocked. Goza stands nearby, with hypnotic eyes. “Bring me what I need, child!” he orders. Soon Goza is grinding the floor to that same beat which has run throughout and a girl gets her breasts out. This dance is around five minutes in duration. Oh My God!!! He drugs them, strips them, and does what he does. Body parts everywhere.

It seems nothing can stop Goza and Blozor. Even a cop who investigates, has his head sliced off. “You son of a bitch! I’m a cop!” he snarls a moment before. Blozor has fun drinking from the officer’s neck stump. However, all is not lost. It transpires that the Brotherhood are still around and are watching Goza. “Until Goza is destroyed, our Brotherhood will remain powerless!” They too are cursed and without a leader. Their penance for unleashing such a creature on mankind. Apparently, the planet is on the verge of darkness. The doom-sayer outside all along is also part of the Brotherhood. They are planning to destroy Goza once and for all.

Gore-Met has a simple plot (by no less than three people!!), no thrills or twists and a lot of scenes outstay their welcome, like a guest who farts on your new sofa. The acting is, for the most part, on a level of H.G. Lewis and his cast of Blood Feast. However, all that aside, this movie is a barrel of laughs. The effects range from beheading, stabbing, slicing up, heart removal, and other juicy moments, all done with cheap gusto. When Goza hasn’t partaken in his favourite dish for a while, his skin crumbles and hangs off him. His face gets the effect later on. Like a kids Halloween latex attempt. It is what it is -- late night trash showing on some crappy TV channel when you flick about.

The music in Gore-Met, though, takes the piss like a nurse with a sample bottle! Wow, it’s as if they have tried to formulate every cheesy and teeth grinding tune possible -- then repeat it over and over again all along the running time! Gore-Met loses points for that. Indeed, other than that I was entertained simply by switching my mind off and going into it watching as it’s meant to be seen.

Gore-met, Zombie Chef from Hell hasn't had an official DVD release at all by the looks of it. In fact, obscurity beckoned after its VHS distribution. This was viewed via a cruddy download with putrid sound. The shame.

 

 

 

CLICK TO ENLARGE IMAGE

 

 RATING:
 MOVIE: 1 
Skull - Severed Cinema1 
Skull - Severed Cinema1 
Skull - Severed CinemaNo 
Skull - Severed CinemaNo 
Skull - Severed Cinema


 

Comments
Add New Search
Robert  - Asics Gel Nimbus 20     |192.200.144.xxx |2019-02-25 12:44:56
Yeezys
New Shoes 2019
Adidas Outlet
Adidas Superstars
Fila Sandals
Pandora Jewelry
Balenciaga Sneakers
Adidas Superstar
Nike Air Max 98
Nike Sneaker
*spam*
Pandora Bracelets
Asics Shoes
Asics Shoes Outlet
Adidas UK
Nike Outlet UK
Adidas NMD R2
Fitflops Sale Clearance
NMD
Yeezysupply
Adidas Trainers
*spam* Outlet
Ferragamo Outlet
Stan Smith Adidas
Adidas Outlet
Christian *spam*
Black Timberland
Nike Cortez Men
Nike Outlet Store Online Shopping
Yeezy Boost 350
Nike UK
Longchamp Outlet
Hermes Birkin *spam*
Adidas Outlet
Nike Sneakers For Men
Ultra Boost Adidas
Nike Air Max 720
Nike Running Shoes For Men
Stan Smith Adidas
Timberland Shoes
Puma Store
Lebron Shoes
Nike Sneakers
Nike Outlet
Red Bottom Shoes For Women
Mens Nike Shoes
Christian *spam* Outlet
Nike Shoes 2019
Pandora Jewelry Black Friday Deals 2019
Adidas Shoes
Yeezy 500 Black
Nike Outlet Store
Jordan 11
Pandora Charms
Adidas Sneakers For Men
Yeezy Sneakers
NMD
Nike 720
Pandora Charms
Adidas EQT Support Adv
Goyard Bags
Air Jordan
Anthony  - Adidas Superstar     |192.200.144.xxx |2019-04-29 06:28:03
Adidas Outlet Store
Yeezy Boost
Nike UK
Nike Shoes 2019
Yeezysupply
Pandora Jewelry Official Site
Longchamp *spam*
Pandora Rings Official Site
Pandora Charms
Timberland Outlet
Off White Jordan 1
Nike Factory Outlet
Nike Outlet Online
Nike Running Shoes For Women
Pandora
Adidas Outlet Online
KD 11
Timberland Outlet
Asics Shoes
Nike Outlet Store
Adidas Shoes
Adidas Trainers Sale
Red Bottom Shoes
Timberland Boots Outlet
Adidas Yeezy
Pandora Jewelry
Ferragamo
Goyard *spam*
Air Max 2019
Nike Outlet
Yeezys
NMD Adidas
NMD xr1
Adidas Sneakers For Women
Nike Sneakers For Men
Pandora Jewelry Black Friday Deals
Nike Outlet Store
Nike Factory Store
Jordans Shoes
Adidas Ultra Boost
Nike Sneakers
Skechers Go Walk
*spam* Outlet
Pandora Jewellery
Fitflop Sandals
Nike Shoes
*spam* shoes
Asics
Timberland Boots
Air Max 95
Balenciaga Sneakers
Nike Air Max 2019
Adidas
Air Max
Timberland Outlet
Fila Shoes For Men
Kanken Backpack
Pandora Bracelet Charms
Nike Outlet UK
Red Bottom Shoes
Nike Outlet
Goyard
H...
Write comment
Name:
Email:
 
Website:
Title:
UBBCode:
[b] [i] [u] [url] [quote] [code] [img] 
 
 
Please input the anti-spam code that you can read in the image.

3.22 Copyright (C) 2007 Alain Georgette / Copyright (C) 2006 Frantisek Hliva. All rights reserved."

Last Updated ( Saturday, 05 August 2017 )
 
< Prev   Next >
© 2005-2019 Severed Cinema  |  Web Design by: Chris Mayo

Bookmark and Share