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Nasty Nancy - Castrum Films Print E-mail
User Rating: / 2
Written by Jay Creepy   
Tuesday, 09 October 2018
Severed Cinema review of Nasty Nancy from Castrum Films


Directed by: Sandi Mance
Written by: Sandi Mance
Produced by: Castrum Films
Cinematography by: Sandi Mance
Edited by: Sandi Mance
Music by: Kevin Macleod
Special Effects by: Miroslav Lakobrija, Arminio Gorgio
Cast: Verica Salata, Valentina Vukovic, Sandi Mance, Josipa Sabo, Petar Pesut, Hana Miljevic.
Year: 2010
Country: Croatia
Language: Croatian
Color: Color
Runtime: 49 min

Distributor: Castrum Films

Think Croatia, Serbia, places around there and horror flicks, you think that of a certain Serbian nasty which gets a lot of people talking. Think the effects guy, Miroslav Lakobrija, and you also think of that certain Serbian nasty. So, pop him into a short movie made the same year and what do you get? Well, a punky sort of Troma thing in a different language with a fair amount of splatter.

It doesn't get any deeper underground than this shoestring chuckle-fest. I say chuckle, depending on your mood and attitude to humour as you sit and view it.

We open to follow a gang of teachers exploring a large dark edifice, ‘80s fashion, waiting to die, obviously. After wandering for a few minutes they chance upon a grinning junkie (played by the director who had perhaps figured his film wasn't such of a good idea after all) propping up a wall. “God-damn! Total overdose.” states one of the gang as the guy dies before them. They all start to bicker amongst themselves. Anyway, it turns out that someone sent a load of invites out for an orgy and they have no idea by whom. Never mind, they reckon, with some pills off the corpse they're good to go. As they leave the room with the dead man in it, we see a roller skate and a blade appear on camera.

The lads discuss fucking their various students and other teachers, then split up (one goes off to take a toilet break after breaking wind numerous times) and it isn't long before one guy is hacked up by a schoolgirl on rollerblades.

She wades her way through the small cast with a lot of gusto and some try to fight back. Throughout we see a few revealing flashbacks, such as the lady teacher who belt-whips a lad so he can achieve his grades and a girl who has to perform for her tutor. It seems this is the only way you can get your top marks. Nancy studied hard and refused to go the 'expected' way, then she was failed.

The fun isn't funny at all. I doubt even Croatian folks would laugh at a thinking bubble over the dead junkie's head, or when a guy's innards are exposed we get a flash across the screen saying 'BRUTAL.' I mean, Jesus!! And when Nancy attacks one of the lady teachers, 'CHICK FIGHT.' Lest viewers forget the Kill Bill soundtrack ode and the intrusive sight gags we have to endure.

Our choice of characters are on the lower scale of crap. I wanted to pour salt on them all to see if they were slugs. Never-the-less, gore wise, Nasty Nancy delivers. Crimson squirts, intestines, and chops are all welcome to brighten the lead weight of... well of everything else to be honest.

I haven't come across a film in a long long time that made me skip scenes, but this one did. It's the trying too hard to be clever and comical gags, especially the audio ones. An example: using fucking Roadrunner shit as one character runs away!!! Sandi Mance, in what realm or universe did you write this and think it would be so cool to use? I had to read the whole of the Gray's Anatomy book to find a funny bone. Guess what? There isn't one!!!!

Sandi Mance, I hope you read this. I'll be open and totally honest here, I don't think I've ever given a one out of five rating on Severed Cinema to anything in the many years I've done this. Your work has stretched me to the breaking point. Without the childish buffoonery you would have a great slice ‘n dice, plus I reckon the jokes would have worked verbally from the character’s conversations. The concept is basic but all right, minus the shit storm of, well, of shit!! I unfairly mentioned Troma earlier. At worst, Troma still has a few redeeming snigger inducing sight gags so I am sorry, Lloyd.

No, in fact, what has taken the rating up to a two out of five has to be the extreme gore, best of all saved for the finale and a wonderful melting set-piece with cock in hand.

Enough, I do not wish to soil my fingertips typing about Nasty Nancy any longer than I need to. There's free downloads on the web -- approach at your own peril.




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