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DAVID TAMARIN'S UGLY WORLD VOLUME 11
Watching the Lord of the Rings series, I noticed some
very odd sexual details -- details that will blow your mind. For example, in
that world, men do things for purposes other than getting a blowjob. More on
Gollum fetishes and hobbit asexuality in Ugly World 12, for now welcome to
Volume 11.
As of this writing, it looks like Joran van der Sloot will finally be arraigned
for murder, although just for Stephanie Flores. Still no justice for Natalee
Holloway.
Van der Sloot the serial killer: No Worries!
 A
major news item for the past six years has been the exploits of Joran van der
Sloot, who has captured public attention ever since high school graduate Natalee
Holloway went missing in Aruba and van der Sloot was the prime suspect. She
disappeared May 30, 2005. She was just 18 and he was just 17 (he is 23 now).
Van der Sloot was arrested twice for the crime, but was never formally charged.
Holloway had recently graduated high school in Alabama and went to vacation in
Aruba, and made the mistake of running into young serial killer van der Sloot, a
Dutch citizen who was staying in Aruba at the time. They met at a casino and
left together. She was never seen again. What probably happened was that she
turned him down for sex, and he beat and choked her until she was
semi-conscious. Then he took her to an isolated area off the beach and drowned
her. She was probably still conscious when he had her under water. There were
possibly several witnesses.
 According
to the National Enquirer, one of the few publications following the case, Joran
called his sleazy attorney father for advice. The father had Joran pay off a
local cemetery worker and he shoved her corpse into a casket already containing
a dead body, which was soon buried.
Her body was never discovered, but officials have always known that he murdered
Holloway and hid her body, possibly in the ocean. US authorities traveled to
Aruba to investigate the crime but van der Sloot proved himself to be a smooth
criminal and he was never charged with the crime, mostly because there was no
body.
Van der Sloot is a pathological liar and has given several versions of what
happened. Van der Sloot was not acting alone and several other people,
including two brothers are alleged to be involved in the murder.
Last year there was bad news for van der Sloot when his rich powerful connected
attorney father died. This death has meant that van der Sloot no longer had
political connections to keep him free. But it also means that he no longer had
the financial resources. His lifestyle consisted of gambling, partying,
womanizing, unprotected sex, unprotected sex with prostitutes, drinking, hash
smoking, traveling, vacationing, in addition to the murder and his involvement
in Thai sex slave trafficking.
In 2010, desperate for money, van der Sloot turned to Holloway’s family and
offered to tell them the truth about what he did to their daughter and where her
body is, for a quarter of a million dollars. This cold blooded act of pure evil
did not work as planned, and Mrs. Holloway contacted the FBI who set up a
sting. He took $25,000.00 from FBI agents and then lied about the murder. Even
though the US could have detained him for the extortion, for some reason he was
let go, allowing him to travel to Peru and commit his latest murder. He did not
get the quarter million dollars but did get a substantial amount of cash and
escape unpunished.
He committed this fraud for two reasons. One, he is a cold-hearted sociopath
who likes to play with his victims’ families, taunting them, keeping the murder
and his freedom fresh in their minds. He realized that he could actually make
money by extorting money from the mourning families of his murder victims. The
other reason was that he needed to finance his luxurious lifestyle and no longer
had support from his father. Van der Sloot’s mother has distanced herself
publicly from him.
 On
the five year anniversary of Holloway’s murder, van der Sloot killed again. He
met Stephanie Flores at a casino and brought her back to his hotel room.
Apparently she was on his computer and came across incriminating information
about Holloway (allegedly a taunting email from an anonymous person claiming
knowledge of the murder). He walked into the room and found her on his
computer, and in a rage beat and strangled her to death. Crime scene photos
published by the National Enquirer show a room covered in blood that had been
the result of a violent struggle, with everything knocked over and broken.
Allegedly he smashed her head in so bad that he knocked one of the eyes out of
its socket.
He immediately fled to Aruba, hoping to avoid the notoriously bad prisons of
Peru, but he was quickly caught and extradited to Peru. This time the tables
are turned. Van der Sloot used to have a powerful rich father to protect him.
In this case, Stephanie Flores is the daughter or a national hero and icon. He
is a famous race car driver and former Presidential candidate. Inmates at the
prison are justifiably enraged that a foreigner has brutally murdered the young
daughter of a national hero.
We know that in the days leading up to the murder, van der Sloot was desperate
for cash and involved in wire fraud. It has been alleged that he was involved
in the lucrative Thai sex trade business, where he would sell young girls into
lives of sex slavery at $10,000.00. One rumor is that he was planning on
becoming a male prostitute and was discussing this with friends previous to the
murder of Flores, which probably had a financial motive as well.
Van der Sloot is now housed in a nightmarish prison in Peru, where he is the
bitch of a famous Peruvian assassin. The inmates run the prison, considered one
of the worst of the world. Some experts believe half of the inmates have AIDS,
and for a mere $10 you can pay an AIDS infected inmate to rape someone,
sentencing them to a slow and painful death, assuming they live long enough to
catch the disease. As of this writing, he is the sex slave of a vicious killer
who is providing him protection. A fitting punishment for someone who not only
killed young women but was actively involved in selling innocent Thai women to
human sex slave traffickers.
I have read several allegations against van der Sloot that may not be true,
although there is sufficient evidence that makes it clear more investigative
work needs to be done. Here are some of the allegations:
1. He is a serial killer, and there are more victims not yet discovered. All of
his behavior is characteristic of a serial killer. For example, killing Flores
on the 5 year anniversary of Natalee’s death may have been part of some ritual.
He first killed when he was in his teens and at 22 he has killed at least two
people. He shows absolutely no remorse, demonstrated by his attempt to extort
money from the still grieving Holloway family. This is the type of cold hearted
mentality that only serial killers and religious nuts have. He travels
extensively, including extended stays in Thailand, a gigantic mega-city of
victims, crime, drugs, murder and more.
2. He is involved in the sex slavery industry, and has promised various women in
Thailand and other countries a new life as a model, only to sell them to human
traffickers. There is also good evidence for this, including van der Sloot,
caught on tape, offering to sell the women. The story was broken by a prominent
Dutch journalist. In an infamous interview van der Sloot, in a blind rage,
hurled a cup of water at the reporter. Selling women into lives of forced
prostitution for a little bit of cash is indicative of the sociopathic serial
killer mindset which cannot empathize with others and which sees people as mere
commodities to be used. In working in the slave trade, he would have access to
many ‘disposable’ women and potential victims. Van der Sloot travels to and has
lived in third world countries like Thailand where it is easier to get away with
murder.
3. He has AIDS, or will soon get it. Van der Sloot went bare-backing (not using
a condom) in several countries, including AIDS-infested Thailand. In a twist of
irony, he had the words No Worries tattooed on his chest in Thai. The problem
is that Thai tattoo artists don’t clean their needles and many people contract
AIDS via getting a tattoo (sounds like a reason to worry for me). He will be
going to one of the worst prisons on the planet, where some estimate that half
the inmates have AIDS. The prisoners control the prison and the guards are
useless at best. The prison is full of violent criminals. For $10 you can pay
someone with AIDS to rape another prisoner. So when some arrogant American
comes in after killing the daughter of a national hero, he is not going to have
a good time.
4. He is already somebody’s prison bitch. Van der Sloot is probably smart
enough to know that without protection, he is a dead man, so an assassin has
made van der Sloot his bitch. One way prisoners mark their bitches is by giving
them a nickname. Even in this brutal prison, and with a brutal assassin
creating the nickname, his behavior is so notorious that his nickname is “The
Psychopath.”
There needs to be an investigation of all of his activities in the past five
years. Authorities need to look at where he was at all times over the past five
years and if any women went missing at the time. American authorities traveled
to Aruba to investigate Natalee’s murder, so it is possible that there will be
an investigation, possibly an international one.
The French Cannibal
Why did the cannibal eat the man’s lung? Because he thought it was his heart.
A Frenchman murdered his prison cell mate, slit his chest open, and ate the dead
man’s heart -- or what he thought was the man’s heart, but which was actually a
lung. An inmate who witnessed this became so disturbed he committed suicide.
I’m sure living in a prison didn’t help. The two had quarreled over some
territorial issues and one of the cells gave the sign of the Evil Eye. I wonder
what his last meal would be if he was American and sentenced to death. He’d
probably ask for his new cell mate to be his last meal. I think this is a sign
that the education system in France is failing if someone cannot tell a lung
from a heart after tearing a man’s chest open. He did eat the meal heartily.
Perhaps he should be set free and become a restaurant chef. Many killers
throughout history have cut their victims up and fed the meet to others who had
no idea, at least at the time.
My Lame Excuse
If you’re wondering why this latest Ugly World has taken so long, I was
kidnapped by a biker gang. They took me to Canada and made me mule crystal meth
to the United States. As soon as I got to America a bunch of thugs took me to a
small cabin and gave me laxatives and enemas until the bags of crank finally
came out of my rectum.
They made me into a drug addict. They got me hooked on the demon gateway drug,
the destroyer of youth and innocence and a leading cause of insanity, marihuana.
Soon I was sucking off half-conscious transsexual bikers for my next marihuana
fix.
I became paranoid and insane, like someone from "Reefer Madness." The
evil weed wanted me to kill. Instead I had to eat bags of shitty yellow crank,
cross the border and release them in a most unpleasant way.
 I
escaped, and immediately went to Juarez, Mexico where I thought I would be safe.
Of the hundreds of dead bodies found in a massive corpse dump site, almost all
were women. So I figured it would be safe for me. Unfortunately, I was
mistaken for someone rich and I was kidnapped by a Mexican gang. They called my
parents and demanded $4 million dollars for my safe return. My parents asked
why the hell they would want to pay for me back. “I’d rather give you the $4
millions and let you keep him” my father said. He didn’t go through with it, he
just wanted to piss them off so they would kill me.
But then he did call my kidnappers, and begged them for my
return. They said they loved me and would pay anything the kidnappers wanted.
Then they burst out laughing. “No he’s your problem!” The Mexican gangster
responded by saying he had killed me. My parents asked them not to report it so
that they would not have to deal with moving the body and a funeral and criminal
investigation. They demanded $1 million from my parents if they would keep
their mouths shut, and my parents said they would pay. Since they don’t have
that much money I assume that my parents sold off the rest of my siblings who
are now white slaves in some Middle Eastern hash harem.
It took me months to escape. I found out that the remake of "I Spit On Your
Grave" was pretty hardcore and I desperately wanted to see it, so I killed
everyone, took all the money, blew it on gambling, drugs, hookers, pay-offs,
bribes, cars, gold, slaves, and just now returned home.
That is why it has been so long since my last column.
If there is ever a long time between episodes of Ugly World you can assume I’ve
been abducted by the CIA for the purpose of testing psychedelic drugs.
Seriously, have you seen "Reefer Madness?" Not only is it hilarious, it
makes you want to get high. Conversely, when you’re high you might enjoy "Reefer
Madness" even more. Not that I advocate substance use prior to viewing a
film to enhance your experience of it. Oh wait, I do advocate that. I very
much advocate it. But I also advocate all forms of deviant, dangerous and
criminal behavior.
SHOWGIRLS: The Citizen Kane of Shit
The exploitation genre has become popular with such films as "Grindhouse"
and "Machete," and remakes of classic exploitation films like "I Spit
On Your Grave" and "Last House on the Left."
But before all this, years ago, Paul Verhoven has been
pumping out exploitation films like Octo-Mom popping out kids. He gave us "Starship
Troopers," an excessively violent film about the extermination of a species
of alien (unfortunately, not telemarketers) that lets us see Doogie
 Howser’s
sinister side, "Robo-Cop" and more. There is a great war of the worlds
and the enemy is simply a killing machine. It’s got Michael Ironside, which
also indicates its exploitation aspects. Ironside has appeared as a sleazeball
in more B-movie exploitation films than I can count. His head exploded in "Scanners."
But that was nothing compared to "Showgirls," the
ultimate modern exploitation film. It has all the sleaze you could ever hope to
want plus you see a former innocent child star’s vagina about 11 times. The
acting is so bad it is almost deliberate. David Lynch favorite Kyle MacLachlan
is awful. Glenn Plummer, for once not playing a gangster or laughable
distraction, playing an intense dance instructor, and all I can say is that I am
sure that man is unable to look at himself in the mirror. How embarrassing to
do such a shitty job and play such a shitty character. Gina Gershon’s
sleazeball showgirl queen character is the most self centered bitch since "Sunset
Boulevard." She’s the real reason the film is worth watching and provides
the only solid performance in the film. We see her naked, and dancing like a
slut and acting like a bitch. As usual, she is naked or half-naked throughout
the entire film. But all of that is nothing compared to the mind-blowing
performance of Elizabeth Berkley. Oh my fucking Christ, this has to be seen to
be believed. Elizabeth is most famous for her role as a dumb perky teen in the
terrible but also terribly addicting show "Head of the Class." Or "Saved
By The Bell." She was young, and innocent, and so so dumb, and had such
limited acting skills. She is tall and gawky and not attractive in the least.
Her body is nothing to write home about unless you like Amazons with B Cups.
 She
plays a tough bitch trying to forget her past and make it in the real world of
showgirl dancing in Las Vegas. Inside the tough as nails exterior is of course
a vulnerable young girl who has had to escape something terrible. She is nice
to people and then blows up at them in a second. When she gets mad, the movie
gets great, because the acting is so terrible you just have to laugh, the way
you would laugh at a fatal multi-family car crash. And in a moment of berserk
jealousness she shoves Gina Gershon down a flight of stairs, fucking her up and
ruining her career so that she could take over. How Machiavellian. How
Shakespearean. Gina (is that short for vaGina in her case?) Gershon
acknowledges that Berkeley is the new queen and had guts to commit such a
violent action to climb the success ladder.
She has help from Glenn Plummer. He tells her shit about having to really feel
the dance, and other clichés, and the way he talks, it is like he is arguing for
the abolition of slavery or some noble cause, not teaching an air-headed temper
tantrum having slut how to advance in the world of sleaze that "Showgirls"
is all about.
 Enter
Kyle McLaughlin, world’s sleaziest guy. I don’t know if he meant to suck at his
role or if his character was just a dick, but the performance is hard to watch.
This is an exploitation rags-to-bitches story about a ruthless bitch from
nowhere going to Vegas or L.A. and making it big at any cost.
Since the movie is about Vegas showgirls, we get scene
after scene of full frontal nudity. I lost count how many times I saw
Elizabeth’s vagina after the 11th time. I imagine Mr. Skin is a big
fan of the film, but you don’t really have to fast-forward though the scenes
without nudity because they comprise about 10% of the film.
I don’t know, or care, if Vegas (and L.A. and N.Y ) are really like this, I’m
just happy there are filmmakers obsessed with sleazy people, sleazy
environments, sleazy behavior, who are creating sleazy films (a compliment).
 Yes,
part of the appeal of this film is similar to the appeal of "Plan 9 From
Outer Space." But that did not have hundreds of naked girls nor a famous
teen child star taking full frontal nudity to the extreme (a trend I do applaud
the movie for) in a way that would make Julianne Moore’s infamous bottomless
scene in "Paper Cuts" look tame.
The script is also by Hollywood’s highest paid writer and fellow exploitation
artist Joe Eszterhas.
Coming next month -- besides hobbit-fucking, we’ll have female serial killers,
tortures, some really nasty diseases, the Black Dahlia killer and the Zodiac
killer, and much more.
Contact my ass on facelessbook
www.facebook.com/davidltamarin
and while you’re there please harass my editor Chris Mayo and give
Severed Cinema “Like”.
One last thing? How come they don’t have a Hate, Dislike, or Don’t Fucking Care
button, just a Like button, and how come you can Poke motherfuckers but you
can’t Stab, Slash, or Bludgeon them.
Stay sick you putrid fucks
da7id l tamarin
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