Tales to Tell in the Dark Review from TetroVideo!
This will likely be a short review since I’ve written about part of this anthology before, as I watched the fantastic Reveniens back in early 2019 (read the review here) so I’ll only cover it briefly here. Tales to Tell in the Dark is one of the latest beauties to escape from the realm of TetroVideo and is the offspring of Severed Cinema’s poster boy, Domiziano Cristopharo (the Italian horror machine himself).
Tales to Tell in the Dark opens to a decaying bishop bloke in a crypt illuminated by Argento lighting as he goes on a while about how he keeps certain stories stored for people who pass through to the afterlife, or something. I’m not a fan of movies doing this. I never liked the Crypt Keeper and those kind of hokey comedy looking characters. I prefer the old school Amicus way — a story umbrella bringing everything together (like Deep Web XXX and XXX Dark Web in the modern era). He rambles in a phoney voice and irritated me as an organ played. All very humorous I’m sure. Anyway, enough of me bashing the bishop, let’s get to the first tale…
It’s the before mentioned Reveniens (Latin for “coming back”) by our man, Domiziano Cristopharo. This is a fun throwback zombie romp which (until the dodgy CGI conclusion) gives you the sense of finding some long lost short Italian horror from the golden era. Like I said, I’m not going in-depth, here’s the link to the original review again (follow this…). I gave it 5 stars last time.
Oh joy, the bishop is back. Look, I can see why he’s here and why he’s meant to be comical, but I do not like this kind of thing which is just my personal opinion! He’s a dick! So, now my little rant is over, let’s continue…
Story two, The Snake with a Steel Tongue, begins with the brutal bloody slaying of a nude man by a woman and then switches from those events to one year later. A young bald chap arrives at the hotel which has been closed for a year. At first, he is refused entry. Then the man who has greeted him relents and allows him access. The innkeeper, as he is named in the credits, explains the electricity comes and goes, it’s quite normal as he leads the way with a lamp. The guest looks a bit unnerved. The man reaches into his wallet for money and the innkeeper holds his hand tenderly saying there’s no need just yet. This brings a look of concern to his features.
The next morning, our guest mentions he heard a woman walking around in the supposed empty edifice, but the innkeeper denies this is possible. Unwelcome noises, and mounds of pubic hair in the shower doesn’t aid his comfort one bit. He complains about the hairs to which he is told it is impossible. Things progress onwards as he meets a mysterious woman at a cemetery and there is some concern about injuries to the guest’s leg…
It wouldn’t be a Domiziano thing if it wasn’t for some male nudity and Poison Rouge wandering around the place. I expected Chiara Pavoni to emerge somewhere but for once she didn’t. This short story carries on the trend of recent Domiziano movies wherein the pace is steady allowing a great build up, showing a mature and solid handling by a true master of the macabre.
The use of locations including a cemetery is magnificent and thrives on lighting up our minds with memories of the golden age of horrors as does Reveniens. It takes an unexpected direction towards its conclusion by the way.
The innkeeper, played by Vittorio Castellano looks like a younger version of actor, Richard Sammel who portrayed undead Nazi, Thomas Eichorst in The Strain TV series, oozing the same sort of quiet menace and pure evil. My one gripe is the acting of Alberto Cattaneo as ‘The Stranger’/ aka the guest. His facial movements are fine, his expressions are wide, but his voice and mannerisms when speaking really did not gel to the aura of the script. I think the problem lies in the fact his voice is dubbed over English, but again somehow his movements become so disjointed when this occurs. I don’t know.
Our grand finale is titled, Jinxed, and is co-directed along with Lorenzo Dante Zanoni, who contributed to A Taste of Phobia and Ill: Final Contagium, both of which have been previously reviewed on Severed. Damn, this site is rammed full of TetroVideo stuff isn’t it???!!!!
Mark is jogging in the woods. Stopping to rest and checking his texts to find some rather unwelcome replies. He discovers the recently made cadaver of a woman.
After being interviewed by the police, he returns to his mobile home to grab a shower. Whilst doing so, strange things begin to happen.
Jinxed is short (filled with Zanoni’s) and very sweet, also winking at us as it shows small clips from previous Tetro creations on its TV as our main man sleeps. At its heart is a simple but effective traditional horror story.
Tales to Tell in the Dark is almost friendly, it’s quite calm and mellow, holding back on a lot of standard mandatory ingredients of extreme to make an almost pop horror film. It’s cool to see a different side to the whole festering weeping wound of a label which seeps out a regular dose of insane films. It’s not the greatest achievement, but it’s a pleasant way to pass one and a quarter hours.
The less said about the last minute of the bishop, the better. I don’t want to fall out with TetroVideo so I’ll simply erase that from my mind.
Directed by: Domiziano Cristopharo, Lorenzo Dante Zanoni | Written by: Domiziano Cristopharo, Lorenzo Dante Zanoni, Antonio Tentori, Davide Chiara, Pasquale Scalpellino | Produced by: Domiziano Cristopharo | Cinematography by: Domiziano Cristopharo | Editing by: Domiziano Cristopharo | Music by: Antony Coia | Special Effects by: Athanasius Pernath, Alessandro Basso | Cast: Lorenzo Dante Zanoni, Aurora Kostova, Wayne Abbruccato, Alberto Cattaneo, Poison Rouge, Claudio Gabriele, Giorgia Telo, Luca Zanoni, | Year: 2020 | Country: Italy | Language: English, Italian | Colour: Colour | Runtime: 1h 16min
Distributor: TetroVideo
