The Crippler: I’m Just Going to Let Myself In Album Review!
The Crippler Review:
I reckon everybody who checks out Severed Cinema on the regular gotta know that I’m a hardcore dye in the wool Deathmatch Wrestling guy. I’ve watched a steady diet of ’em since 2004. I can (as I explain in all reviews for the events and tournaments) trace my adoration back to my youth watching Abdullah the Butcher, Bruiser Brody and The Sheepherders (I will never type their terrible WWF given name) rampaging through the territories of wrestling back in the 80s along with other monsters, bleeding, and dishing out the crimson masks to opponents. Deathmatch is the closest I can find to the warm comradeship that once existed.
Why am I going through this again? It’s because Deathatch creature, Shlak, who features in a few of the ones I’ve reviewed XPW (Xtreme Pro Wrestling: Killafornia Deathmatch Wrestling) and ICW (Impact Championship Wrestling: No Holds Barred Vol 6) for examples, aside from being a bonafide and brilliant tattoo artist, he’s also a growling juggernaut of a vocalist plus guitar string tormentor in a band called The Crippler (named after the legacy of one of the greatest to enter the squared circle, Chris Benoit).
This isn’t Shlak’s first dance. He’s been in numerous bands over the years, but The Crippler, along with fellow DM warrior, Dan O’ Hare, and a few other dangerous beasts, is a savage hybrid of death metal, thrash, grindcore, and dirty cig butts beer bottle, punk. The Crippler sound like the post GG Allin era, Murder Junkies arranged a party, invited Cannibal Corpse, but then Motörhead gate crashed and smashed up the place.
I’m Just Going to Let Myself In, is like a soundtrack to a home invasion, an armed robbery, a violent crime where innocents get hurt badly. The title track opens us into this chaos and trauma with a noise that I just know I’ve heard somewhere before in a movie but cannot put my Severed finger on it. Thus, we fall into a pool of nasty noise and the aggressive drums with guitars kick in brutally. Pounding and head banging. “I’ve been watching…. From across the street…” Lyrically, The Crippler are merciless yet with a vile sense of humor.
It’s all fast and to the point. Mangled Bodies and I Don’t Want to Hurt You, both open with ruff feedback guitar screams. Shlak and Jag (who worked with Shlak prior whilst as Eat the Turnbuckle) trade blow for blow vocal duties and the near forty minutes is a barrage of extreme metal. “I just want to kill you… I don’t want to hurt you…”
The screams that intro I Keep Hearing Noises in Your Basement, is something else, this band are not to be taken word for word seriously. If you do and are offended, then send them hate mail, they love it. “I keep hearing noises in your basement… What the fuck is going on?” As things proceed, Suicide by Cop is intense, and the guitars explode. In fact, we can’t take anything away from the skills of the drummer who throughout really sweats blood performing. Evan, you’re a mean crazy fucker on those skins!
Constant soundbites interlude or introduce tracks, not over-the-top like Mortician, more like Stages of Decomposition (Stages of Decomposition: Piles of Rotting Flesh Album review) and Necrophagia. No song goes over the four minutes mark, and that’s how it should be. Once number twelve concludes that sample or whatever the hell it is that brought in the album appears again, but it is followed by a nice bouncy extra, Rabies is a Killer.
The Crippler are low life scumbags. They make horror and violence influenced music, a shovel full of blood and fecal matter thrown into our faces. As my Partner in Gore (also a massive Deathmatch fan) Willow said, they’re quite soothing. This is seriously good music, standing out as feeling authentic among the crowds of generic bands who wander the lands these days.
I’ve been into Shlak’s stuff for a while now, and I have to say, The Crippler is for definite the best and tightest I’ve heard so far. No gimmicks, no bullshit, simply nasty ass shit that has crawled out from a Deathmatch Tournament that’ll make you freak out and smile at the same time.
Album Info:
Band: The Crippler
Album: I’m Just Going to Let Myself In
Members: Shlak (vocals, guitar), Dan O’Hare (guitar), Hook (bass), Jag (vocals), Evan (drums)
Engineered by: Dan O’ Hare
Year: 2022
Country: USA
Art: Shlak
Runtime: 37min 16sec
Label: Horror Pain Gore Death Productions
Track Listing:
01. I’m Just Gonna Let Myself In
02. Mangled Bodies
03. I Don’t Want to Hurt You, I Just Want to Kill You
04. I Keep Hearing Noises in Your Basement
05. Suicide by Cop
06.Human Offals
07. Stabbing People
08. Let’s See What’s in Those Pockets
09. I Have a House Full of Guns
10. 21 Nails
11. Where’s My Fucking Money
12. Orgy of Violence
