Ugly World: 11
DAVID TAMARIN’S UGLY WORLD VOLUME 11
Watching the Lord of the Rings series, I noticed some very odd sexual details — details that will blow your mind. For example, in that world, men do things for purposes other than getting a blowjob. More on Gollum fetishes and hobbit asexuality in Ugly World 12, for now welcome to Volume 11.
As of this writing, it looks like Joran van der Sloot will finally be arraigned for murder, although just for Stephanie Flores. Still no justice for Natalee Holloway.
Van der Sloot the serial killer: No Worries!
A major news item for the past six years has been the exploits of Joran van der Sloot, who has captured public attention ever since high school graduate Natalee Holloway went missing in Aruba and van der Sloot was the prime suspect. She disappeared May 30, 2005. She was just 18 and he was just 17 (he is 23 now). Van der Sloot was arrested twice for the crime, but was never formally charged. Holloway had recently graduated high school in Alabama and went to vacation in Aruba, and made the mistake of running into young serial killer van der Sloot, a Dutch citizen who was staying in Aruba at the time. They met at a casino and left together. She was never seen again. What probably happened was that she turned him down for sex, and he beat and choked her until she was semi-conscious. Then he took her to an isolated area off the beach and drowned her. She was probably still conscious when he had her under water. There were possibly several witnesses.
According to the National Enquirer, one of the few publications following the case, Joran called his sleazy attorney father for advice. The father had Joran pay off a local cemetery worker and he shoved her corpse into a casket already containing a dead body, which was soon buried.
Her body was never discovered, but officials have always known that he murdered Holloway and hid her body, possibly in the ocean. US authorities traveled to Aruba to investigate the crime but van der Sloot proved himself to be a smooth criminal and he was never charged with the crime, mostly because there was no body.
Van der Sloot is a pathological liar and has given several versions of what happened. Van der Sloot was not acting alone and several other people, including two brothers are alleged to be involved in the murder.
Last year there was bad news for van der Sloot when his rich powerful connected attorney father died. This death has meant that van der Sloot no longer had political connections to keep him free. But it also means that he no longer had the financial resources. His lifestyle consisted of gambling, partying, womanizing, unprotected sex, unprotected sex with prostitutes, drinking, hash smoking, traveling, vacationing, in addition to the murder and his involvement in Thai sex slave trafficking.
In 2010, desperate for money, van der Sloot turned to Holloway’s family and offered to tell them the truth about what he did to their daughter and where her body is, for a quarter of a million dollars. This cold blooded act of pure evil did not work as planned, and Mrs. Holloway contacted the FBI who set up a sting. He took $25,000.00 from FBI agents and then lied about the murder. Even though the US could have detained him for the extortion, for some reason he was let go, allowing him to travel to Peru and commit his latest murder. He did not get the quarter million dollars but did get a substantial amount of cash and escape unpunished.
He committed this fraud for two reasons. One, he is a cold-hearted sociopath who likes to play with his victims’ families, taunting them, keeping the murder and his freedom fresh in their minds. He realized that he could actually make money by extorting money from the mourning families of his murder victims. The other reason was that he needed to finance his luxurious lifestyle and no longer had support from his father. Van der Sloot’s mother has distanced herself publicly from him.
On the five year anniversary of Holloway’s murder, van der Sloot killed again. He met Stephanie Flores at a casino and brought her back to his hotel room. Apparently she was on his computer and came across incriminating information about Holloway (allegedly a taunting email from an anonymous person claiming knowledge of the murder). He walked into the room and found her on his computer, and in a rage beat and strangled her to death. Crime scene photos published by the National Enquirer show a room covered in blood that had been the result of a violent struggle, with everything knocked over and broken. Allegedly he smashed her head in so bad that he knocked one of the eyes out of its socket.
He immediately fled to Aruba, hoping to avoid the notoriously bad prisons of Peru, but he was quickly caught and extradited to Peru. This time the tables are turned. Van der Sloot used to have a powerful rich father to protect him. In this case, Stephanie Flores is the daughter or a national hero and icon. He is a famous race car driver and former Presidential candidate. Inmates at the prison are justifiably enraged that a foreigner has brutally murdered the young daughter of a national hero.
We know that in the days leading up to the murder, van der Sloot was desperate for cash and involved in wire fraud. It has been alleged that he was involved in the lucrative Thai sex trade business, where he would sell young girls into lives of sex slavery at $10,000.00. One rumor is that he was planning on becoming a male prostitute and was discussing this with friends previous to the murder of Flores, which probably had a financial motive as well.
Van der Sloot is now housed in a nightmarish prison in Peru, where he is the bitch of a famous Peruvian assassin. The inmates run the prison, considered one of the worst of the world. Some experts believe half of the inmates have AIDS, and for a mere $10 you can pay an AIDS infected inmate to rape someone, sentencing them to a slow and painful death, assuming they live long enough to catch the disease. As of this writing, he is the sex slave of a vicious killer who is providing him protection. A fitting punishment for someone who not only killed young women but was actively involved in selling innocent Thai women to human sex slave traffickers.
I have read several allegations against van der Sloot that may not be true, although there is sufficient evidence that makes it clear more investigative work needs to be done. Here are some of the allegations:
1. He is a serial killer, and there are more victims not yet discovered. All of his behavior is characteristic of a serial killer. For example, killing Flores on the 5 year anniversary of Natalee’s death may have been part of some ritual. He first killed when he was in his teens and at 22 he has killed at least two people. He shows absolutely no remorse, demonstrated by his attempt to extort money from the still grieving Holloway family. This is the type of cold hearted mentality that only serial killers and religious nuts have. He travels extensively, including extended stays in Thailand, a gigantic mega-city of victims, crime, drugs, murder and more.
2. He is involved in the sex slavery industry, and has promised various women in Thailand and other countries a new life as a model, only to sell them to human traffickers. There is also good evidence for this, including van der Sloot, caught on tape, offering to sell the women. The story was broken by a prominent Dutch journalist. In an infamous interview van der Sloot, in a blind rage, hurled a cup of water at the reporter. Selling women into lives of forced prostitution for a little bit of cash is indicative of the sociopathic serial killer mindset which cannot empathize with others and which sees people as mere commodities to be used. In working in the slave trade, he would have access to many ‘disposable’ women and potential victims. Van der Sloot travels to and has lived in third world countries like Thailand where it is easier to get away with murder.
3. He has AIDS, or will soon get it. Van der Sloot went bare-backing (not using a condom) in several countries, including AIDS-infested Thailand. In a twist of irony, he had the words No Worries tattooed on his chest in Thai. The problem is that Thai tattoo artists don’t clean their needles and many people contract AIDS via getting a tattoo (sounds like a reason to worry for me). He will be going to one of the worst prisons on the planet, where some estimate that half the inmates have AIDS. The prisoners control the prison and the guards are useless at best. The prison is full of violent criminals. For $10 you can pay someone with AIDS to rape another prisoner. So when some arrogant American comes in after killing the daughter of a national hero, he is not going to have a good time.
4. He is already somebody’s prison bitch. Van der Sloot is probably smart enough to know that without protection, he is a dead man, so an assassin has made van der Sloot his bitch. One way prisoners mark their bitches is by giving them a nickname. Even in this brutal prison, and with a brutal assassin creating the nickname, his behavior is so notorious that his nickname is “The Psychopath.”
There needs to be an investigation of all of his activities in the past five years. Authorities need to look at where he was at all times over the past five years and if any women went missing at the time. American authorities traveled to Aruba to investigate Natalee’s murder, so it is possible that there will be an investigation, possibly an international one.
The French Cannibal
Why did the cannibal eat the man’s lung? Because he thought it was his heart.
A Frenchman murdered his prison cell mate, slit his chest open, and ate the dead man’s heart — or what he thought was the man’s heart, but which was actually a lung. An inmate who witnessed this became so disturbed he committed suicide. I’m sure living in a prison didn’t help. The two had quarreled over some territorial issues and one of the cells gave the sign of the Evil Eye. I wonder what his last meal would be if he was American and sentenced to death. He’d probably ask for his new cell mate to be his last meal. I think this is a sign that the education system in France is failing if someone cannot tell a lung from a heart after tearing a man’s chest open. He did eat the meal heartily. Perhaps he should be set free and become a restaurant chef. Many killers throughout history have cut their victims up and fed the meet to others who had no idea, at least at the time.
My Lame Excuse
If you’re wondering why this latest Ugly World has taken so long, I was kidnapped by a biker gang. They took me to Canada and made me mule crystal meth to the United States. As soon as I got to America a bunch of thugs took me to a small cabin and gave me laxatives and enemas until the bags of crank finally came out of my rectum.
They made me into a drug addict. They got me hooked on the demon gateway drug, the destroyer of youth and innocence and a leading cause of insanity, marihuana. Soon I was sucking off half-conscious transsexual bikers for my next marihuana fix.
I became paranoid and insane, like someone from “Reefer Madness.” The evil weed wanted me to kill. Instead I had to eat bags of shitty yellow crank, cross the border and release them in a most unpleasant way.
I escaped, and immediately went to Juarez, Mexico where I thought I would be safe. Of the hundreds of dead bodies found in a massive corpse dump site, almost all were women. So I figured it would be safe for me. Unfortunately, I was mistaken for someone rich and I was kidnapped by a Mexican gang. They called my parents and demanded $4 million dollars for my safe return. My parents asked why the hell they would want to pay for me back. “I’d rather give you the $4 millions and let you keep him” my father said. He didn’t go through with it, he just wanted to piss them off so they would kill me.
But then he did call my kidnappers, and begged them for my return. They said they loved me and would pay anything the kidnappers wanted. Then they burst out laughing. “No he’s your problem!” The Mexican gangster responded by saying he had killed me. My parents asked them not to report it so that they would not have to deal with moving the body and a funeral and criminal investigation. They demanded $1 million from my parents if they would keep their mouths shut, and my parents said they would pay. Since they don’t have that much money I assume that my parents sold off the rest of my siblings who are now white slaves in some Middle Eastern hash harem.
It took me months to escape. I found out that the remake of “I Spit On Your Grave” was pretty hardcore and I desperately wanted to see it, so I killed everyone, took all the money, blew it on gambling, drugs, hookers, pay-offs, bribes, cars, gold, slaves, and just now returned home.
That is why it has been so long since my last column.
If there is ever a long time between episodes of Ugly World you can assume I’ve been abducted by the CIA for the purpose of testing psychedelic drugs.
Seriously, have you seen “Reefer Madness?” Not only is it hilarious, it makes you want to get high. Conversely, when you’re high you might enjoy “Reefer Madness” even more. Not that I advocate substance use prior to viewing a film to enhance your experience of it. Oh wait, I do advocate that. I very much advocate it. But I also advocate all forms of deviant, dangerous and criminal behavior.
SHOWGIRLS: The Citizen Kane of Shit
The exploitation genre has become popular with such films as “Grindhouse” and “Machete,” and remakes of classic exploitation films like “I Spit On Your Grave” and “Last House on the Left.”
But before all this, years ago, Paul Verhoven has been pumping out exploitation films like Octo-Mom popping out kids. He gave us “Starship Troopers,” an excessively violent film about the extermination of a species of alien (unfortunately, not telemarketers) that lets us see Doogie Howser’s sinister side, “Robo-Cop” and more. There is a great war of the worlds and the enemy is simply a killing machine. It’s got Michael Ironside, which also indicates its exploitation aspects. Ironside has appeared as a sleazeball in more B-movie exploitation films than I can count. His head exploded in “Scanners.”
But that was nothing compared to “Showgirls,” the ultimate modern exploitation film. It has all the sleaze you could ever hope to want plus you see a former innocent child star’s vagina about 11 times. The acting is so bad it is almost deliberate. David Lynch favorite Kyle MacLachlan is awful. Glenn Plummer, for once not playing a gangster or laughable distraction, playing an intense dance instructor, and all I can say is that I am sure that man is unable to look at himself in the mirror. How embarrassing to do such a shitty job and play such a shitty character. Gina Gershon’s sleazeball showgirl queen character is the most self centered bitch since “Sunset Boulevard.” She’s the real reason the film is worth watching and provides the only solid performance in the film. We see her naked, and dancing like a slut and acting like a bitch. As usual, she is naked or half-naked throughout the entire film. But all of that is nothing compared to the mind-blowing performance of Elizabeth Berkley. Oh my fucking Christ, this has to be seen to be believed. Elizabeth is most famous for her role as a dumb perky teen in the terrible but also terribly addicting show “Head of the Class.” Or “Saved By The Bell.” She was young, and innocent, and so so dumb, and had such limited acting skills. She is tall and gawky and not attractive in the least. Her body is nothing to write home about unless you like Amazons with B Cups.
She plays a tough bitch trying to forget her past and make it in the real world of showgirl dancing in Las Vegas. Inside the tough as nails exterior is of course a vulnerable young girl who has had to escape something terrible. She is nice to people and then blows up at them in a second. When she gets mad, the movie gets great, because the acting is so terrible you just have to laugh, the way you would laugh at a fatal multi-family car crash. And in a moment of berserk jealousness she shoves Gina Gershon down a flight of stairs, fucking her up and ruining her career so that she could take over. How Machiavellian. How Shakespearean. Gina (is that short for vaGina in her case?) Gershon acknowledges that Berkeley is the new queen and had guts to commit such a violent action to climb the success ladder.
She has help from Glenn Plummer. He tells her shit about having to really feel the dance, and other clichés, and the way he talks, it is like he is arguing for the abolition of slavery or some noble cause, not teaching an air-headed temper tantrum having slut how to advance in the world of sleaze that “Showgirls” is all about.
Enter Kyle McLaughlin, world’s sleaziest guy. I don’t know if he meant to suck at his role or if his character was just a dick, but the performance is hard to watch.
This is an exploitation rags-to-bitches story about a ruthless bitch from nowhere going to Vegas or L.A. and making it big at any cost.
Since the movie is about Vegas showgirls, we get scene after scene of full frontal nudity. I lost count how many times I saw Elizabeth’s vagina after the 11th time. I imagine Mr. Skin is a big fan of the film, but you don’t really have to fast-forward though the scenes without nudity because they comprise about 10% of the film.
I don’t know, or care, if Vegas (and L.A. and N.Y ) are really like this, I’m just happy there are filmmakers obsessed with sleazy people, sleazy environments, sleazy behavior, who are creating sleazy films (a compliment).
Yes, part of the appeal of this film is similar to the appeal of “Plan 9 From Outer Space.” But that did not have hundreds of naked girls nor a famous teen child star taking full frontal nudity to the extreme (a trend I do applaud the movie for) in a way that would make Julianne Moore’s infamous bottomless scene in “Paper Cuts” look tame.
The script is also by Hollywood’s highest paid writer and fellow exploitation artist Joe Eszterhas.
Coming next month — besides hobbit-fucking, we’ll have female serial killers, tortures, some really nasty diseases, the Black Dahlia killer and the Zodiac killer, and much more.
Contact my ass on facelessbook www.facebook.com/davidltamarin and while you’re there please harass my editor Chris Severed and give Severed Cinema “Like”. One last thing? How come they don’t have a Hate, Dislike, or Don’t Fucking Care button, just a Like button, and how come you can Poke motherfuckers but you can’t Stab, Slash, or Bludgeon them.
Stay sick you putrid fucks
da7id l tamarin
