Ugly World: 4.0
UGLY WORLD 4.0 David L Tamarin
SICK ANIMAL news: For the past few months the U.S. has suffered a major mealworm shortage. It sounds like a joke but it is not one at all. Hundreds of thousands of domesticated animals depend on mealworms for sustenance, including geckos. For whatever reason, there is one major company that supplies PetCo and other US pet food places with mealworms, and they had some problems and have not been shipping out mealworms. My geckos eat mealworms, and one of mine is very sick. The others can go weeks without eating, because they store food in their tails. This gecko recently dropped her tail off, a defense mechanism they do when scared. The tail flops around a lot, distracting predators while the gecko runs away. Since she is so sickly and also blind, she has trouble eating crickets, the other major food geckos eat.
So I bought another type of worm geckos can eat and went to buy it, and my conversation with the PetCo woman potentially avoided something that would have been so disgusting and psychologically devastating to me that I would now be in a loony bin. When she was ringing up the items, I asked if she had any plastic forks to go with the worms. She started to go into shock when I revealed that I was just kidding and was not purchasing the worms for personal consumption. This is something I always do because the reactions are priceless. One time the woman asked me what kind of animal I had and I said that I didn’t own one; I was buying mealworms to eat because they were cheap and tasty. It’s weird, because I am telling a joke that only I get and it is not even funny (except to me) until later when I tell people about it or return to the store and they recognize me.
Anyway, the young woman asked me about the worms and luckily I told her the truth. She asked about the size of the geckos. When I told her about the small sickly one she told me something very important. The worms I was about to buy were much longer than mealworms, and have powerful mouths. If I fed one of these worms to my sick gecko, it would chew its way out of the gecko’s stomach and pop out like the alien popping out of John Hurt’s chest in the movie Alien.
I have three geckos in a tank. When they go to the bathroom, they always do it in the same area, in one corner of the tank.
The name of a place where people and animals go to shit is called a defecatorium. Sounds more fun than a vomitorium.
One of my three geckos has always had health problems, and I have to force-feed her. I have this tube I put in her mouth that is attached to a syrupy mix of food and appetite stimulants, and then I have to put one or two mealworms in her mouth. Five years ago she accidently bit me and my finger got infected. It swelled up to twice its size and I went to the doctor (this was the morning after my wedding) who sent me to the hospital where they sliced my finger open and squeezed out all this nasty pus.
The sick gecko, Baby, also has a problem with her skin peeling. One time her skin didn’t peel properly and it got stuck to her eyes. When the outer skin finally came off it pulled her eyes out with it.
When a gecko is scared it can make its tail, which is about 1/3 to 1/2 of the body length, fall off. It is genetically programmed to flop around and make a huge mess as a distraction while the gecko runs off to safety.
I fed her today and she bit me. Then I sprayed her with moisturizer, which helps her skin peel, on her. Her eye socket started leaking out a huge amount of white pus, and then she rubbed it against the wall of the tank and smeared her eyeball off onto it, leaving a huge white trail. For awhile the eye was hanging, attached to her eyes socket and the tank, and then it tore off. Right before this, after she bit me, her tail fell off. It landed on my foot and started flopping around like a fish out of water. It was bleeding and almost pulsating. I freaked out and picked it up, and was so worried about the gecko I put her tail in the tank which scared the other geckos as it bounced around, spraying blood. Finally I flushed it down the toilet and washed my hands.
Now it’s time for my cat. She has kidney disease and we have to inject fluid into her every three days. We did this right after the gecko disaster, and it worked out fine. But when I was putting it away, the syringe (which had been in the cat and had cat hairs on it) jammed through its protective covering as I tried to jerk it out (that’s what she said) and the syringe shot out and stabbed me. Since I was pulling my hand as hard as I could the syringe that stabbed me, was pulled out, then back into me, etc. I stabbed myself six times with the syringe. Blood spurted out of every hole. I was paranoid I would get a disease so I squeezed around each hole, forcing all the blood out, in case any diseased shit had gotten into my hand. So I am standing there, there is fluid spraying from the tube, and I am squirting showers of blood out of each needle hole so I don’t die of poisoning.
The Brazen Bull is an ancient torture device. It is a large object in the shape of a bull, with a hot fire underneath. Victims are placed into the inside of the hollow, bull-shaped device, and the fire is lit underneath. They slowly roast alive, often dying from asphyxiation.
But the most macabre aspect is that the bull is fitted with an elaborate system of tubes and pipes – that transform the victim’s screams into the sounds of a bull! This was done before a live audience who cheered at the sounds and the spectacle.
The first victim was the man who invented the device. When he presented it to the ruler who had requested a torture device, the ruler was so disgusted with the sick mind of the inventor that he asked him to go inside it to see if people could actually fit. After he went inside, they slammed the door on him and turned up the flames.
Often entire families were placed inside the Brazen Bull.
Four human feet have been found washed up on the shores near Vancouver, over several months last year.
All of the feet had socks and running shoes.
All of the feet were right feet.
This reminds me of the 1950s unsolved Cleveland Torso Killer.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7418239.stm
Skylar Deleon, a former child actor who had appeared in an episode of Mighty Morphin(e) Power Rangers was convicted of three murders. He tied a couple to an anchor and threw them into the ocean, and committed an unrelated murder. More info and a headshot of the guy who looks quite insane: http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/notorious_murders/celebrity/hawkes_deleon/7.html
